~~~ SO TOOTSIE ~~~

I was asleep for 10 years, now I finally woke up. Once  studied to be a doctor but forced to give it all up. A nervous wreck. I couldn't focus. My sanity is everything, eyes have opened. Each second of every day I am getting stronger. My lens clear by the one who laid it down for me, creator of lighting and thunder. I know you are hoping that I fail but it is He that lives in me that makes me prevail. "Our Daily Bread" helps with my daily bread. It guides my focus. No longer blind, controlled by your manipulation. How I used to beat myself up has dissipated. Taking the advice of Jay Rock to "win" is highly appreciated.  I almost made it. Let me take a moment to repharse it. "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." You cant serve two masters...Three weeks ago, 3:24, the alarms, the pot, the knocks. The desperation is evident. Vengance is not mine but the one who is heaven sent. Recheck your confidence. One too many foul balls. Go ahead and tak...

This is for you. I know you reading. Dedicated too much time to your mistreatment. Sitting around just thinking of ways to destroy my image. The "Great I Am" my vision is much too big for your comprehension. I tried to bring you along but you are resistance. The very definition of inconsistance, so you forced me to move my distance. The hate you demonstrate has and still is making me great. The whole you dug is the home you reaped. You created. Vengance is not mine. The level of pettiness complimented...weak. I say my prayers right before I sleep. Wake up refreshed, favored, blessed and I am still meek. As much energy as you have put in being sneaky, I have dedicated my life to peace, prosperity, love and calamity. I am done explaining. You got what you wanted. Stellar performance, Grammy waranted. You always wanted the stage, now you have it to yourself. All eyes on you. Cameras flash. The curtain closes as the final act approaches. You exit stage left. The TKO in motion...

"I want to be selfish with your love.",  he says. She can read between the lines. Your self-esteem is low right now and you are just looking for a good time. I... am... not... that woman! "My biggest regret is you!" he replies. She smiles and shakes her head. I know you are trying to make up your mind and maybe test the waters but I am not desperate! I am a woman of purpose. I am optimistic and I will help you out of the pit. But if you think you are going to just sleep with me with no com-mitt-ment, your intentions are not Heaven sent! I have been been through this scenario several times before...my reply remains the same...to the left is the door. My advice; your knees are where you need to be, praying to the good Lord almighty!

The flower has bloomed, the art is live The truth revealed. Spirit alive Create with passion, boldness and haste fearless, courage...luxurious in taste Green and piercing...red and fierce earth and fire...Flame within....Twins... Soul connection...EMBRACE THE RED Comfort here. Stress reliever. Picking up tomorrows' here... saving the best for last-at-last we are here. Can I trust you with my fears after all-these-years...of...waiting for you?

Pet peeve: leaving your plate on the counter instead of putting it in the sink... I like to share...the only requirement, don't touch my things. So, you are too good to take out the trash? No stress...I'll take it out... but don't expect me to cook so you can eat... You disconnect the fire alarm...light candles with no match. Don't look at me sideways...I see the embers in the trash...you're reckless... Matter of fact, as I write this, I'm eating Grits, red beans...Thanksgiving leftovers for breakfast... I drink Green Tea with ginger and lemon...no sugar needed... I can't stand clutter...Winter time Spring cleaning ~

Fula, Balanta, Mende, Catawba...somewhere in Europe by way of Alabama... Mulatto, light skinned, all the way down to the richest of color My black is my black...Maxton, Marion, Dillon and Mullins My great Aunt Mayzell and Aunt Judy sat on their hair. Uncle Ernest hair straight...Great-grandma Sicily, wavy loose curly...mustang black... touched with a sprinkle of Gray Great-great-great-grandma Josephine, Uncle Julius and eight others... descendants of Albert Williams, my great-great-great-great grandfather.... He considered himself black unlike, Aaron, his identical twin brother. First black teacher in Marion, or so indicates their research...self-sufficiency discovered Ciff Lee, mothers father, only met him once in person but over 30 years desired. 6 foot 4 gentle giant...so many questions unanswered...still yet, I can't stomach to form the words to say that I ever blamed ya James Buie Sr, the only one I knew as Granddad growing up, I salute you and that rifle.RIP...l...

What have we become? A symptom of Black Market injections Fix-A-Flat, Cement, illegally obtaining Silicone for a bigger bum... The videos glorify the fakeness that you want to become Because you have perceived it in your mind, the damage has already been done. Whatever happened to squats and lunges...doing things the old-fashioned way? Wanting to be the object of his desire...meanwhile, killing yourself ever so softly I see your jeans screaming at the seams...you refuse to hear them... thinking the bigger the better... until you be Cardiac-arresting, retarding your personal development. You control your image, not what they silently promote... They like to see it, sleep with it, feel it...understanding the difference... definition of what a freak is. Love yourself for you being you...instead of paying homage to those additives that will remain constant even after you cease to exist Girls going overseas...dying for bum injections. Fake nurse traveling from Asia to Australia...