Rosamora

Meditating on what I shall name you
I heard a whisper, your name so soft and
gently in my left ear. I turned to look
but no one was there. I thought I might
be going crazy but then I realized finding
a name for you was my very prayer

Mistreated, stressed and scared out of my
mind...I decided that it wasn't so bad. My
acceptance paved the way to my reality...
On my very first appointment the nurse
began to apologize as she looked at me

As the very doctor who gave birth to me
performed the ultrasound, I could see what
he saw and realized it was the beginning of
the end so I accepted it right then. I was
not ready yet anyway, I told myself In hopes
of feeling better. The mass was the size of
my womb, the post was bare

That night,  evil hands struggled to rip you from my
womb...toilet crimson...pale and clammy skin
somewhat conscious of the loss within. The ambulance
ride was horrible, the hospital even worse...

BUT hearing you call to me after just 2 miles...standing...
the mini tornado of leaves that danced with no wind.
understanding...maybe not... maybe I do "I am
overworking myself"...to the shower I ensued

It wasn't until 6 months later, that I began to piece everything
together. That same whisper in my left ear revealed the name
of your little brother...I see now... You surrendered your life
to make room for your little brother. The mass was never a threat
to him but seemingly a comfortable pillow.


Written November 2017