PEOPLE GET MAD?

Buck's hair stands at attention as his eyes turn red while glaring. His lips begin to peel back exposing his gums and beast like sharp teeth. The foam spilling from his mouth is white and frothy. He begins to growl deeply and barks uncontrollably with furry as he walks towards Samantha. This is the kind of scenario I envision when people refer to themselves as being mad instead of angry.
As a child growing up, my mom often told me, "Dogs get mad, people get angry". This is what really helped me to be more aware of my behaviors, especially when dealing with others.

Having a successful relationship or marriage takes work. What you put in the relationship or marriage, is truly, what you will get out of it. The key is that both partners have to agree to "put in" positivity. I know that several of you may have heard of the expression, "don't go to bed angry". Well, this is true. Make the decision to have disagreements instead of arguments.  A disagreement is basically not approving of ones ideas; while an argument is not approving of ones ideas and concurrently showing intense anger.  A trick I learned as a counselor, is that the louder someone gets with you, the softer you get. This is called deescalation. This is used to subside the human tendency to start a "yelling match". Shouting only leads to headaches, high blood pressure, soar throats, scared kids, if you have them; and too much wasted time. Marriage is not meant to be war!

If you get angry, try not to be angry more than 5 minuets. This is still too long, but you have to start somewhere, right?  The ultimate goal is to not rationalize your behaviors but to realize your reactions before your behaviors. Take the extra effort into understanding what your partner is trying to get across to you. I have to sometimes remind myself that my husband is not a psychic. I can't expect him to know exactly what and how I am feeling if I don't tell him. I have also found that by just opening up to my husband about my true feelings actually brings us closer. I, now, not only welcome but depend on his perspective in a matter. 

Make the commitment to watch what you say as well as how you say it! The bible states in Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger". It's better to build up the self-esteem of your partner and vice versa. Life is hard enough. Make your home life a happy one. Don't forget to read, ESSENCE OF TIME, PERFECT 12: WAYS TO LOVE & GROW WITH YOUR PARTNER and VERBAL ABUSE; NOT COOL!